Episode 70: Being Interesting
It takes more than our homeschooling values to develop deep relationships with other moms. We discuss the Relationship Bank Account, how to invest in friendships, and fun ways to bond through conversations. In our Coop Q & A, we answer a struggling mom's cry for help with her child who fights learning.
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Show Notes
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Introduction:
In this episode we want to discuss conversational ways to bond with friends - besides children and homeschooling. It’s important to connect with friends beyond our children - because our children will grow up and we want to have lasting relationships.
Last year, as Galentine’s day approached, we spoke about developing “Mom friends” in episode 27. In episode 50 we talked about identifying as homeschool moms and how we can get lost in that identity. So, if you haven’t listened to episode 27 and 50, and you like this topic, check out those too.
Scoop on the Coop
Caffeinate and Educate! That’s our homeschool mom motto today. We are wearing matching shirts that we designed! If you like our shirts, check out our Etsy shop!
We enjoyed Coronado together! Libraries and bookstores are a peaceful way to explore a town with your children and grow their love of books at the same time.
Being Interesting
1) Friendship is an investment:
We reference Sean Covey’s Relationship Bank Account - RBA - which is very much like a checking account at a bank. You want to make deposits over a long period of time to build a healthy relationship. (7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens Book - Sean Covey and workbook)
The way people make deposits or need deposits depends on the person, and The 5 Love Languages book by Gary Chapman can shed some light on that for you too.
Ways to Make Deposits:
Advice
Time
Fun
Critiques & encouragement
Favors
Vulnerability
Sharing ideas and about yourselves
Listen
2) Conversation Ideas
The goal is to “be interesting” - not for others - but for yourself! Being interesting is developing aspects of you beyond your children and it is developing bonds through interesting conversations - so try things that are interesting! Books, goals, places, your childhood and more!
Check out our blog post for a complete list of ideas.
3) Tips for Engaging Conversation
Telling a story? Try a Story Gap - give the ending first, which builds interest.
Answer people’s questions with more than dead end answers.
4) Practice Active Listening
Pick Topics ahead of time
Research your friend
Practice listening skills at home with your spouse and children:
Don’t Multi-Task
Be Patient
Delay forming your Lens
Enjoy it
Make Notes
Coop Q & A
Question:
Is there anyone who has children who just fight doing school? She won’t listen to directions, wants to do everything her own way even though it’s the wrong answers. Our first two years of homeschooling were great. As of 1st grade, she could read aloud at a 5th grade level. Now she is in second grade and won’t read a word to me. I feel like giving up. I’m at the end of my rope. I feel so alone in this.
Answer: You are not alone. If we haven’t been through this already, we will go through this at some point most likely. This is such a challenging time! We discuss a number of practical things she can do, including deschooling (check out episode 68), to aid in moving forward in a different way.
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