Identifying as a Homeschool Mom
I’ve been identifying myself as a “Homeschool Mom” for about seven years now. It’s so fun to share my homeschooling identity with new people while waiting for the spectrum of responses. Sometimes it’s a delighted kindred spirit who lights up and says “I am too!” and other times it’s a judgy person managing their disapproval or confusion in a blatant way - plus everything in between. Either way…it’s fun. I love that part of my identity, but many times I forget that “Homeschool Mom” is just one part of me.
Think back before you had kids. Do you remember when you hung out with people who did have kids, especially the ones who all they talked about were their kids and parenting and blah, blah, blah? The Spouse and I had eight years married before I became pregnant with our first child…and that was on purpose. We did not want to be parents during those eight years. We loved being just us, without any confines of child responsibilities or limitations on schedule. We would stay up until 3 AM playing video games together, would run to Old Navy after work for a shopping spree, and watched Lord of the Rings on loop throughout the week. When we met new couples who we totally connected with, we were usually devastated when we discovered they had children. “Nevermind” was basically what we felt about our friendship with them. But now we are on the other side of the parent fence, and now we get why so many parents spent their time talking about children and parenting - it’s because they identified as parents! This kind of identity changes us and is so deeply rooted in all our hopes and dreams and how we define success and failure. No wonder that is what we talk about with other adults.
And now, we aren’t just parents. We are homeschool parents. It’s a whole other level. And now, that’s all I want to talk about with my friends my age. I would like to deny this obsession, but, the proof is in the podcast. My idea of fun is filming a podcast with my homeschool mom friend, which is really just 1-2 hours discussing various topics about homeschooling! This homeschooling adventure is my calling, my mission, and technically, it is my parenting.
But, I am not just one thing. I am much more than that. I am more than my roles, my passions, my hobbies, my niche group membership, and my duties and responsibilities. I am more than my achievements, my good deeds, and my super fun personality (if I do say so myself!). My identity is grounded in something unchangeable, unconditional, and full of hope - my identity is in my faith in my Savior and Father in heaven. I am a precious child of God who created me with a hope and a future.
And that is what I wish I would share more with others…especially my children.
(For more discussion about our identities, check out this podcast episode 50.)