The Homeschool Edit: When Do Extracurriculars Become Too Much Extra?
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Seriously so much to unpack here - so let’s not waste time, and get right down to it. Extracurriculars…Yes? No? And how many? How much time is worth spending on them? We’ve been reading Ben Hewitt’s book Home Grown: Adventures in Parenting Off the Beaten Path, Unschooling, and Reconnecting with the Natural World, and in his chapter 7, “The Downside of Convenience,” we get to dive into the topic of “extracurriculars.” (Check out our podcast about this book!)
But first, I want to address a question I’ve been asking since my kids were little…
What is the Extra and What is the Curricula?
Convention says that “extracurricular” is anything beyond the main school subjects required for college admission, and that extracurriculars are activities that help you develop your passions and interests…Wait…WHAT? Hold up. The “extras” are the activities that develop the things we care the most about in this world?
So, here’s my question: Why are these “extra” activities not the core curricula? I ask us homeschoolers this. I’ve heard many homeschool moms (and even myself!) talk about pursuing their child’s interests as an “extra.” I understand why conventional schools have to make the three R’s the core subjects with the education assembly line required to educate the masses - but for us - why are our children’s interests considered “extra”? It’s just something to consider and a way to reframe our lens when it comes to our kids’ activities.
Now, let’s get back to Hewitt’s book, sticking with the conventional definition of “extracurricular” to keep things simple for argument’s sake. And, to throw a curve ball, Hewitt doesn’t really use the term “extracurricular” - he uses the term Away-From-Home (AFH) Activities - which is a little bit of a different category but basically include extracurriculars. Hewitt’s distinction is home activities vs. away from home activities.
Away-From-Home Activities (AFH)
In this current conventional “culture of extracurriculars,” even homeschool kids are worked to the brim away from the home with all their regular music lessons, sports, robotics club, art classes, choir, youth group, boy/girl scouts, debate teams, and more. Plus, all those other non-regular away-from-home activities such as field trips, museum visits, play dates, hikes, and seasonal experiences. Add to that any outsourced core subject enrichment like math tutoring, world language practice, science labs, co-op groups, and more. It’s a wonder that any kid can be home long enough to actually play.
Now, I love me some extracurriculars - and I’m so very guilty of overscheduling my kids. But that’s because exposure to wonderful ideas and new skills, discovering talents, and being challenged physically and emotionally can be very enriching for our kids. By trying these AFH activities, a child can sometimes find his or her calling in life. By experiencing and coping with different authority figures’ leadership styles, and by learning how to deal graciously with success and failure, extracurriculars are equipping kids with major life skills needed for a fulfilling life (for most people). But, Hewitt’s chapter poses the question - how much time of this equipping do our kids need? And at what cost?
Time away from home is referenced by Hewitt to mean time away from the family unit and time away from self-directed play. It can mean less sibling time, less time to have important parenting discussions, and less time to just be present and smell the roses. Sometimes, there is such a problem of adult-directed busyness in the name of growing a child’s passions and interests, that even homeschool children do not have the time at home to develop their callings and interests in an uninterrupted and self-directed manner.
Hewitt talks about this and the opportunity costs of choosing one or more AFH activities over free play - and research supports his concern, showing time and time again that playfulness and free play has a big impact in helping a person grow in a major way.
“...three indicators of playful learning: choice, wonder, and delight. Choice looks like kids setting goals, developing and sharing ideas, making rules, negotiating challenges, and choosing how long to play. Wonder looks like kids exploring, creating, pretending, imagining, and learning from trial and error. Delight looks like happiness: kids smiling, laughing, being silly, or generally feeling cozy and at ease.”
What’s interesting to me about this article I referenced above - is that it grinds in the idea of the providing space in time for free play is critical for healthy child development…but it’s talking only about summertime play. When I read this, it felt like such a travesty to me that this “Choice, Wonder, and Delight” are relegated to summer…what about the other 9 months of the year?!?
Giving your children lots of space and free time for choice, wonder, and delight is something to consider most definitely. Hewitt gives an example of his son who really wanted to play Little League baseball, but when he found out that it meant less time for him to free play at home, he decided against Little League. The opportunity cost of time spent doing one thing over another is helpful for every family to consider prior to signing one’s child up for yet another “extracurricular.” Hewitt states in his book that he witnessed that the accumulation of extracurriculars had “profoundly disrupted families we knew, many of whom educated their children at home.” Time at home to learn life skills, such as helping with projects around the house, and time to develop a deeper friendship with one’s siblings and parents is a peaceful and simple way to live, still full of enrichment.
So, what can we do? Well, I suggest, The Homeschool Edit.
The Homeschool Edit
I suggest editing your homeschool life with these four steps. This is uber hard for me since I have major FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) when it comes to everything homeschool. But it’s a process for all of us.
Define your Mission Statement - A Mission Statement is your measuring stick for what curriculum and activities make it into your homeschool world. Your Mission Statement represents your top values and purpose in homeschooling. If any AFH activities or “extras” do not fit within your value system, your Mission Statement will tell you that. We have a blog about how to write your Mission Statement, and even a workshop/seminar about it with a workbook to walk you through the process. Contact us if you are interested in signing up for our seminar.
Declutter your Curriculum - Remember when you were in school as a child, and remember all those thousands of amazing ideas, books, and facts that you were exposed to? …Yeah, I don’t remember them either. It was POINTLESS! Limitless information, worksheets, bookwork, and “educational” experiences really don’t make as much of an impact as they could have when there are just too many of them. Stick with intentional, quality, and focused content and “extras” that fit within your value system, and let the other stuff go.
Determine What’s Extra and Delete it - What’s actually “extra” isn’t necessarily the extracurricular - but it could be. Using your values and your child’s interests, make the decision on what is your actual core curricula and what is the actual “extra.” Never mind conventional requirements and schedules - ask yourself and your child what truly matters to you and your child in educating them and preparing them for life.
Decide Who Influences You - Be discerning. Choose your books, podcasts, and even homeschool mom friends wisely. There are people in this world that will be part of your life no matter what…so when you do have a choice, choose with the knowledge that this person WILL influence your perspective, your actions, and your satisfaction in your homeschool life.
Hewitt’s book is full of simple but significant topics like this one. This is just one idea he touched upon, one idea to consider and be intentional about. His life experiences and wisdom may just launch you to go down your own rabbit hole…and what you may find is a whole new wonderland full of new insight and discovery.
If you are jam-packed with AFH activities and you like it that way - great! But COVID has shown many of us that slowing down has an unintended consequence of the blessing of time. This pandemic has shown us what it’s like to have dinner together as a family more often and to have time together to deepen our familial relationships. It’s shown us the creativity that comes from free time and free play, the peacefulness from not needing to rush everywhere, and the gift of being present right where we are. Let’s learn from that blessing and now assess the significant opportunity cost of our busyness. Because, as Benjamin Franklin says, “Lost time is never found again.”
